Mark Daniel Hoskins

Sunsing Lyrical Anthology: A Definitive Collection Of Sunsing Songs

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Inferiority Complex

This song has a history of it's own. I wrote it in '89 and gave the words to my mom with a big smile and a lot of pride in my work. She grounded me. I read this at a poetry contest and got booted off stage. I did it at a talent show and was kicked out. Apparently the message was before it's time. However it is more relevant today than ever. We were studying fascism in school and I started researching my family history. We were part of the many millions of Gypsy, Roma, Indigenous, Tribal peoples tested on and killed during WWII at Dachau. So this creates a similarity between various governments and their ever growing fascist powers, and how religions turn a blind eye to it in the name of their higher power or faith. In grade 7, during the late 1980's we learned about fascism in school. I started drawing correlations at that time between governments in general and how they are using the power we give them to control us in ways we cannot endure, but as well to build into a police state, or global government. I saw all of this happening thirty years ago and wrote this song trying to explain it.

There’s a spot in the sky if you look up high 
That’s not as blue as the rest 
The asphalt here is blacker than there if you put it to the test 
The steel beams, the concrete streams are really Plasticine 
The grass is browner on the other side 
Because over here it’s green 

The red brick wall is thick and tall if you’re on the inside 
To a prisoner the window’s small 
But the breeze blows strong and wide 
The sun shines brighter in the night than it does in the day 
The people’s minds are not as bright but who cares anyway 

When I close my eyes, I close my mind 
Because you never know quite what you’ll find 
Your deepest fears escape and unwind 
When my calloused eyes are closed they’re blind 

There’s a big wall here and a big wall there 
But nothing in between 
I’ve been told I’m small and nothing at all 
By men not big nor mean 
These masters always I respect
Their will I will obey 
And if their will is not my will
I in their swill will lay 
And the rats keep gnawing, gnawing on my mind
Like that familiar similarity 
Between a chuckle and a sob
It goes on 
This drilling pain replaces all my doubts and all my fears
It goes on 
Through these times of trial and tribulation 
I can still taste the tears
The grinning mobs of pleasure are replaced by this haze 
The grays and blacks but never whites 
Are the beginning of my phase 
It goes on

Everything I pick up is never quite the same 
I keep on playing my simple silly games 
Take a look at reality just to jest and just to tease 
Don’t forget your manners, please

I can feel their teeth digging in my brain 
Try to laugh, try to smile, try to see the sane 
Break through another layer just to play the game 
Close your eyes, squeeze them tight 
Never again, never again

Trial to the bone, this frail soul 
Your future sin will make you whole 
Betraying truth and trust, personal disgust 
You will crown him

Scowl at the sun, my special one 
Your twisted brain has come undone 
Fallen, screaming, overcome with lust 
Mental holocaust, you will bow

Up high in your toxic cloud 
You’re flying high in your linen shroud 
Stick your nose a little higher in the acid rain
Feel the deformed earth in your deformed brain 
Close your eyes and say you’re dreaming.. It never ends 
In this ancient charade, It’s all pretend
 
Fathering and birth control
Trying hard to push and pull
Not to talk with your mouth full
Crying hard to save your soul

Eyes of gray and hearts of steel
Fingertips and cold hard heels
Fighting without confidence 
Skin cuts from the wire fence

A  gunshot sounds off in the night
a squeal of death, a plea for life 
And if you make it out alive 
There’s booby traps and hidden mines

A bit of blood, a sacrifice
The crooked cross flies from the skies 
And if your will is not device
Then racial hatred is the knife 

With twisting doorknobs, pounding fists 
Broken needles in their crypts
Jackboots pounding rhythmic riffs
The hope and glory starts to drift 

When families are torn apart 
A nail pounds into your heart 
Civil revolutions start 
Forced conscription fills it’s part 

While glowing flares high in the sky 
Will all your worries satisfy 
Great President starts to lie
The conquered try the truth defy 

Their bodies nailed to a cross
Left for the night to soothe the loss 
Where shining armor used to stand 
Now filthy wasteland shakes it’s hand

There’s a spot in the sky if you look up high 
That’s not a blue as the rest 
The asphalt here is blacker than there 
If you put it to the test 
The steel beams, the concrete streams
Are really Plasticine 
The grass is browner on the other side 
Because over here it’s green